Point 9: The Mediator

Possible Origins. Nines felt overlooked as children and as a consequence formed the habit of discounting their own essential needs. They describe family situations that range from neglect to being overshadowed by siblings to being ignored or attacked when they stood up for their own ideas. What is common to all of these childhood prototypes is the sense of not being listened to when an opinion was put forward and realizing that showing anger directly did not get their opinion heard.

Flawed Nines. Nines tend to ignore a problem rather than risk disturbing what they perceive as a stable situation. They often do harm to others and to themselves by refusing to deal with problems. They may also be passive, even lazy and overly dependent on external stimuli. Or they may procrastinate or stick to routine so as to avoid conflict and vitality. As managers, they tend to play a custodial or stand-pat role.

Well-Adapted Nines are those who have achieved a strong sense of themselves as individuals. They become masters of their fate and develop an active orientation to life. They remain peaceful individuals but do not turn away from problems. They are the most trusting of all the types and the most trusted. Their love of harmony makes them ideal mediators.

As managers, they are good at preserving what is best about an organization. They are stable individuals who have a calming influence--an asset in times of change and disruption. They are highly interested in putting back together what gets rent asunder in their organization. They restore the equilibrium. In playing this role, they shed their relative passivity and learn to take the initiative and to take stands. They gain confidence in their ability to contribute, but they rarely become arrogant.

Occupations. Nines, because of their excellent mediating skills, make good arbitrators and counselors. In groups they play an important part of harmonizes, bringing peace and calm. As managers, they keep the bureaucracy functioning--jobs that depend on routine, protocol, and recognized procedures. They also are good a playing integrator roles, as between functions or divisions or locations.

Finding Oneself.

1. I often have difficulty in saying "no."
2. Most things in life aren't worth getting upset about.
3. I find that I often dip in and out Of conversations, thinking of several things at once.
4. The most important things to be done are left to the end Of the day.
5. While there are some differences, I feel most people are pretty much the same.
6. I hate to waste energy. I look for energy-saving approaches to things.
7. I become very stubborn when I feel pushed by others.
8. I can be a dispassionate arbiter because one side is as good as the other.
9. I'm really sensitive about having my efforts overlooked, criticized, discounted.
10. I tend to play things down to get other people settled down.